But if you're having trouble coping, if you're reeling from this, schedule a few sessions with a good therapist, someone who can help you process those feelings. Perhaps it would be the polite thing to do. And that's more than most people know. I'm a queer man who usually tops with men. But since there's no need to tell her that you sometimes like to stroke for a bit without climaxing, there's a strong chance she'll react negatively to your "courtesy" disclosure. I enjoy being fingered and using a prostate massager, so I know my prostate is in there. I understand that it's never cool to involve someone in your kink without their consent, but what are the rules here? There are a few variables here that are important to note. A bad first try at receiving anal at age 16 led me to not bottom for years. I feel like it could be sexy to be so open about a taboo, given that we've already discussed the desire for a physical aspect to the relationship. Edging entails bringing yourself or being brought to the edge of coming over and over again. But when you add the kink factor into the mix, I think something like that should be talked about before sex is "imminent.
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Edging entails bringing yourself or being brought to the edge of coming over and over again. Draw out the buildup to a single orgasm for hours or days—by edging yourself or being edged by someone else—and the resulting load will be larger than normal for the edged individual. But even so, an edged dude's load can still be smaller than the load of a guy who just naturally produces more ejaculate.
Frankly, WOOD, your letter reads like you got baked out of your mind and sat up half the night trying to come up with an excuse to tell this woman about your not-that-kinky kink and "I should tell her as a courtesy" was the best you could do. A person—queer or straight—can make that call without ever having tried bottoming. I guess I'd feel comfortable saying, "Hey, by the way, I produce very large loads," if sex was imminent.
Everything of value was taken—including my two dogs—but they left my clothes and stuff of that nature. A few days ago, someone broke into my house. Even if she's made it clear there could be "a physical aspect in whatever potential relationship may ensue"—even if that's not just dickful thinking on your part—she's going to be scrutinizing you for signs that you aren't someone she wants to get naked with.