And surely worth that extra effort on their behalf. We should be teaching them that they are responsible for their own lives and that participating equally in the domestic and emotional labour of life is the norm for men. By the time they start school, five-year-olds already know that only "sissy boys" cry, and "bossy" girls are annoying. We need to live the ideas we want our children to grow up with, not just talk about them. Most of the parents surveyed for the Our Watch report were at least 25 years old, and they grew up in a world where gender equality was talked about, but rarely demonstrated. It takes a constant, conscious effort to unlearn them. We can teach our girls to take pride in themselves beyond how they look or their ability to nurture others. Larger text size Very large text size It's something feminists have been talking about for decades, but according to a new report by Our Watch, the vast majority of parents want it too: They learn the power and powerlessness of being pretty and the threat inherent in their own strength. Parents don't want their boys shamed for showing vulnerability, or being gentle and loving. We too were once those children, being told that boys don't cry and girls don't yell. Little boys learn the power of their rage and the danger of their vulnerability. Parents who don't want those limitations on their children can do an enormous amount. Children learn about gender roles before they are two years old. But we also need to make sure our children know that the world outside our homes doesn't always expect those things from them. Our Watch chair Natasha Stott Despoja says she tells the story of her son's former soccer coach telling him to "stop being a mummy's boy" because he showed emotion, sadness even, during a game.
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She says how we talk to children matters. The source and cause of this can be traced back to the lessons learned in childhood. It's not always easy, but the benefits to our sons and daughters and to the world they live in, are immeasurable.